My forty-second (42) writing to my grandchildren = Moj (42) drugi opis mojim unucima

                My forty-second (42) writing to my grandchildren.
The title is:

“Rita wants to know what your responsibilities were as a child? How did you help around the house? Did you play a role in running the household?”

My dear grandchildren, this is a question for your grandfather “Babu” asked by our friend Rita. Rita’s parents are Armenian and have lived in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, where French is spoken and where Rita was born in 1959. We met Rita here in the Texas capital Austin in July 1985. Since then we have had many interesting conversations through which our friend Rita learned from your grandfather “Babu” and many of these adventures Rita connected with the adventures of her parents, because her parents were born in the countryside as well as your grandfather “Babu” Milan.

Yes, Rita’s question makes sense. Living in the countryside and living in the city is a big difference, as it was then in those times, even more so today. Living in the countryside we children were subject to parental rules while living in the city you are more subject to state, city and school rules than, say, parental rules. That is why parents have always demanded obedience and responsibility from their children from the first days of their upbringing. Obedience and responsibility have not been born with anyone in this world, nor can it be bought in a store. In the city, obedience and responsibility are taught in school books and school desks, while in the countryside the parents are the children’s “school book and school desk”. Every teacher in their classroom can very well notice every student who listens well, who learns well. Likewise, parents can know very well which of their children listens best and which child would be most responsible in running household chores. So my father, your great-grandfather Petar, noticed and realized that his son Milan, your grandfather “Babu ”, has a sense for running household chores and as such he knows and can be responsible for making decisions.

In my village Bobanova Draga where I was born and where I lived there were 87 households in 1956 and a little less than 500 inhabitants. There was no electricity, cooking was on a wood stove, a lamp with kerosene was used for light, there was no running water, there were then 13 wells in our village and four cisterns. Many used other people’s wells for the daily water they needed. We, our family, had a cistern in our house. We had gutters and when it rains through those gutters, the water goes directly into the cistern. We used this water only for domestic use and it was very necessary. We had our well some two hundred meters away from our house and we used that water for all sorts of other needs. The cistern was right next to our kitchen, only the wall separated us. Oftentimes, and mostly around evening hours, our first neighbor Stipićevića would come to our house without our permission and take water from our cistern. That would make my father Petar so angry that he would start shouting and shouting, not to the neighbor Stipićevica while she was taking water from the cistern, but when she left. Several times I personally forbade her to take water, telling her that it made my father very angry. Stipićevica would always come in the evening and take water. In a big emergency I would take her buckets and take the buckets of water out by myself for her, so my father would think I didn’t let her take the water.

I will never forget Friday, February 24, 1955. That evening there was a village session in our house. The traditional custom of our village Bobanova Draga was that at the beginning of each year the owners (elders) of each house meet and choose a man who will be in charge of caring for the village, the field, the hill, so he had a kind of authority like the Sheriff here. He would be paid by the community of the village according to the agreement for that year. I was there at that meeting, listening to everything, following and remembering. For me, this village session was important. Now I’m going to tell you why.

During the session, someone knocks on the door. I was sitting near the door and immediately I opened the door. It was my cousin, Ante Grubišić (1938.1990). I closed the door and talked to my cousin Ante outside. He told me that there is a good movie in Grude that night and that he would like to go with me to see that movie. The village of Grude is 6 kilometers away from the village of Bobanova Draga. I entered the house and pointed my finger at my father Peter to come outside. My father Petar got up and went out with me. Ante was outside and Ante asked my father Petar on his own behalf and mine if the two of us could go to Grude tonight to see a movie. I will now briefly say what it was like then. A film company from the city of Mostar would come to Grude to show a film. They would rent a hall and show the film not over electricity, because it was not there, but with the help of a fuel engine.

My dear granddaughter, now comes the answer to Rita’s question:

“Rita wants to know what your responsibilities were as a child? How did you help around the house? Did you play a role in running the household?”

My father Petar took me into the house and said in front of everyone: As of today, my son Milan is the boss of this house, only my wallet is mine and I am the boss of it. As of today, all responsibilities are his, except of course the wallet.

Your eternal grandfather “Babu” Milan.

“Rita želi znati koje su tvoje obveze bile kao dijete? Kako si pomagao oko kuće? Jesi li igrao ulogu u vođenju poslova domaćinstva?”

Slika obitelji Petra i Ive/Vićeke Boban, Gabrića Božić 1957.

Slikao Slavo Boban, Ikasov (1934-1970)

Dragi moji unuci ovo je pitanje vašem djedu “Babu” kojeg je postavila naša prijateljica Rita. Ritini roditelji su Armenci i živjeli su u Montrealu, Quebec, Kanada, gdje se govori francuski i gdje je Rita rođena 1959. Mi smo upoznali Ritu ovdje u glavnom gradu Teksasa Austinu u srpnju 1985. Od tada imali smo mnogih zanimljivih razgovora kroz koje naša prijateljica Rita je saznala od vašeg djeda “Babu” i mnoge te dogodovštine Rita je povezala sa dogodovštinama svojih roditelja, jer su njezini roditelji rođeni na selu kao i vaš djed “Babu” Milan.

Jest, to Ritino pitanje ima smisla. Živjeti na selu i živjeti u gradu je velika razlika, kako tada u ta vremena, danas još više. Živjeti na selu mi djeca smo bili podležni roditeljskim pravilima dok živjeti u gradu više si podložan državnim, gradskim i školskim pravilima nego, recimo roditeljskim pravilima. Zato su roditelji od prvih dana dječjeg odgoja uvijek od svoje djece tražili poslušnost i odgovornost. Poslušnost i odgovornost se nisu rodili s nikim na ovom svijetu, niti se to može u dućanu kupiti. U gradu se poslušnost i odgovornost uče u školskim knjigama i školskim klupama, dok na selu roditelji su djeci “školska knjiga i školska klupa”. Svaki učitelj u svojem razredu može vrlo dobro primjetiti svakog đaka koji dobro sluša, koji dobro uči. Tako isto i roditelji mogu vrlo dobro znati koje od njihove djece sluša najbolje i koje dijete bi bilo najdelotvornije u vođenju kućnih poslova. Tako je i moj otac, vaš pradjed Petar uočio i uvidio da njegov sin Milan, vaš djed “Babu” ima smisla za vođenje kućnih poslova i kao takav zna i može biti odgovoran i donositi odluke.

U mojem selu Bobanova Draga gdje sam ja rođen i gdje sam živio bilo je žitelja 1956 godine 87 domaćinstva i nešto malo manje od 500 žitelja. Nije bilo struje, kuhalo se na (v šporetu, za svijetlo se koristila lampa sa petrolejom, nije bilo tekuće vode, bilo je tada 13 bunara u našem selu i četiri čatrnje. Mnogi su se služili tuđim bunarima za dnevnu vodu koja im je trebala. Mi, naša obitelj mi smo imali u našoj kući čatrnju. Imali smo oluke i kada kiša pada kroz te oluke voda iđe direktno u čatrnju. Tu vodu smo koristili samo za kućne i vrlo nužne potrebe. Mi smo imali naš bunar udaljen od naše kuće nekih dvjesta metara i tu vodu smo koristili za sve moguće druge potrebe. Čatrnja je bila odmah uz našu kuhinju, samo nas je zid dijelio. Često puta a ponajviše oko večernjih sati, naša prva susjedkinja Stipićevića bi bez naše dozvole došla u našu kuću i uzimala vodu iz naše čatrnje. To bi mojeg oca Petra toliko naljutilo da bi počeo vikati i galamiti, ne susjedkinji Stipićevici dok je ona uzimala vodu iz čatrnje, nego kada je ona otišla. Više puta ja sam osobno njoj zabranio vodu uzimati, govoreći joj da to mojeg oca vrlo ljuti. Stipićevica bi uvijek u večernje sati dolazila i vodu uzimala. U velikoj nuždi ja bih uzeo njezine kante i sam iznio kante s vodom vani, tako da bi moj otac mislio da joj ja nisam dozvolio vodu uzeti.

Nikada neće zaboraviti petak veler 24 veljače 1955. Tu večer u našoj kući je bila seoska sjednica. Tradicionalni običaj našeg sela Bobanova Draga je bio da se početkom svake godine gazde svake kuće sastanu i izaberu čovjeka koji će biti za tu godinu zadužen paziti na selo, na polje, na brdo, tako da je imao jednu vrst autoriteta kao ovdje Šerif. Njega bi zajednica sela po dogovoru za tu godinu platila. Ja sam bio tu na tom sastanku, sve slušao, pratio i pamtio. Za mene je ova seoska sjednica bila važna. Sada ću vam to reći zašto.

Za vrijeme sjednice netko je pokucao na vrata. Ja sam sjedio blizu vrata i odmah sam ja vrata otvorio. To je bio moj rođak Ante Grubišić (1938.1990). J sam zatvorio vrata i vani pričam sa mojim rođakom Antom. On mi govori da u Grudama večers ima dobar film i da bi on želio s menom otići vidjeti taj film. Selo Grude je udaljeno od sela Bobanova Draga 6 kilometara. Ja sam  ušao u kuću i prstom upro u mojeg oca Petra da dođe vani. Moj otac Petar se je digao i s menom izašao vani. Vani je bio Ante i Ante je u ime svoje i moje zamolio mojeg oca Petra da li nas dvojica večeras možemo otići u Grude vidjeti jedan film. Sada ću ukratko reći kak je tada bilo. Iz grada Mostara došla bi jedna filmska kompanija u Grude prikazati neki film. Iznajmili bi dvoranu i prikazali film ne preko struje, jer je nije bilo, nego pomoću motora na gorivo.

Dragi moju unuci sada dolazi odgovor na Ritino pitanje:

“Rita želi znati koje su tvoje obveze bile kao dijete? Kako si pomagao oko kuće? Jesi li igrao ulogu u vođenju poslova domaćinstva?”

Moj otac Petar me je uveo u kuću i pred svima rekao: Od danas moj sin Milan je gazda ove kuće, samo novčanik je moj i ja sam gazda. Od danas sve odgovornosti su njegove, naravno osim novčenika.

Vaš vječiti djed “Babu” Milan.