My forty-ninth (49) writing to my grandchildren.
The question is:
“Who have been your closest friends over the years?”
My dear grandchildren, this is a question that concerns every person who was born and lived on this planet of ours. I said “who was born and lived on this planet of ours”, because there were those who were born and unfortunately did not live long, because they died soon after birth, which means that they could not have “…closest friends over the years”. So I will write about myself and my closest friends in my life.
To be honest, my dear grandchildren, I have had many good and even bad friends in my life, and I would rather call the bad ones here as acquaintances rather than friends. A Croatian proverb says: a good friend follows you more faithfully than your shadow, which follows you only as long as the sun shines around you. In other words, whoever believes in friendship must also believe in honesty. These are the divine sparks in man’s heart that he carries from the day of his birth, and both are the foundations of selfless, constant and saving love.
My dear grandchildren, I have many friends, and in this description I will refer to only two, one is from my village Bobanova Draga Jerko Boban, nicknamed Kukić, born 1934-1994, the other is Joe Foster, an American, born in Houston, in the state of Texas in 1936 -2020. First, I will say something about my neighbor and friend Jerko Boban, Kukić.
His family and my family were good friends from their childhood days and that friendship was passed on to their children. From that friendship of our parents, Jerko and I became friends. He was a good joker, he could sing ganga very well, and I sang ganga very well too. Ganga is a Croatian traditional type of singing, especially in our Croatian region of Herzegovina. Jerko and I often sang ganga on our way through our village. A village is a village and life in the countryside is different than – let’s say – in the city. On one occasion, my friend Jerko was in an inn where ganga was sung and various pastimes were enjoyed. Someone mentioned to Jerka how come Milan is not with you and that someone started talking negatively about me. Jerko got angry and said to that person: Don’t talk about my friend Milan because he is not here to defend himself. I am his friend and I forbid you to say anything about him without him, because he is not here.
Jerko went to the army in 1954. I went to Slovenia to work in 1957. When Jerko came home from the army and found out that I was in Slovenia, he came to my parents and asked for my address. My parents gave him my address. Jerko came to me in Slovenia. Jerko started working with me in the same company. There we jointly agreed that we would flee from communist Yugoslavia to the West to democratic countries.
I am enclosing a picture from Mislinja and Slovenj Gradec. I worked there and under YU pressure I had to flee across the border. From left: Ivan Boban known as Juka, Ante Pejić, known as Lelo, Mile Boban your grandfather, Jerko Boban known as Kukić, Ante Kozina, squatting from left: Frano Boban, Belin, Frano Boban, Coković, lives somewhere in Sweden.
On Sunday, September 6, 1959, we left Slovenj Gradec by train for Koper. We moved to Celje and took a picture in front of the train station. Jerko Bobnan, Kukić and I traveled to exile, to emigrate, while the others returned home.
Jerko and I fled through Italy and arrived in Nice, France on Thursday September 10, 1959. From there to Paris where we lived together. Jerko got married on September 12, 1963. I am putting a picture of Jerko and Marica’s wedding. That was just when we got out of the limousine after the wedding and went to the house of our friend Marko Džapo where the reception was going to be. From left: Ante Mamić, groom Jerko Boban, bride Marica Boban and Mile Boban
This picture is during reception in the house of Marko Džapo. From left are: Ante Mamić, Marica Boban, Jerko Boban holding his right arm over Marica’s shoulder, Mile Boban, Nikola Šantić and Ivan Talaja.
I got married on July 31, 1965. I am putting a picture of Mile and Annie Boban’s wedding.
Jerko left Paris for America in September 1968 to Warton, W. Virginia, I left Paris for San Francisco in December 1968. When Jerko learned that I was in San Francisco, he came to San Francisco with his family in May 1969. He died and was buried exactly on his sixtieth (60th) birthday in 1994. For me, that is one clear proof of the closest friendship.
Along with my other closest friends was my good friend Joe Foster. I am putting a picture of Joe Foster. Right is Joe Foster and Mile Boban.
His wife Lily was a real estate agent. I was a builder and she sold them. Through her I met her husband Joe in October 1984. We found a common vocabulary and that’s how our mutual friendship developed. Through our friendship Lily Foster found a house for us in their neighborhood at 3104 Rivercrest Drive, Austin Texas 78733. Now we are neighbors, we live on the same street, we visit often, we tell each other stories from the past, we couldn’t tell stories from the future because we have not yet passed through the future and the future was unknown to us.
I had an appendectomy at Seton Hospital on March 6, 1987, where I stayed for 7 days. My wife Annie was by my side every day. The children are at school. Joe Foster was leaving his job to pick up my kids from school. That is one true friendship. Joe wanted to check it out. One day, Saturday morning, my water supply pipe broke. I started digging to find out where the pipe broke. Joe came by and asked me what happened. I told him what happened. Joe left. After an hour or two, Joe came to me on foot with a bloody bandage on his arm. He moans and asks (asked) me if I could take him to the emergency room because he cut his hand with a knife. Even though I was in a big hurry to weld the pipe, I left work, took my car and Joe and I left for the hospital. When we got to Highway 360, Joe started laughing uproariously, took the towel off his hand, showed me his hand that was dripping tomato red (catch up) and said with great pleasure:
Dear Mile, I just wanted to test how much of a sincere friend you are. Now you have proved to me that you are my sincere friend. I appreciate that. Now you have proved to me that friendship is the strongest bond of any human sacrifice. Thank you. Now turn the car around, let’s go home and enjoy the rest of Saturday together.
My dear grandchildren, I found it appropriate to share with you my life memories of my dear friends, Croatian Jerka Boban, Kukić and American Joe Foster.
Your eternal grandfather “Babu” Milan.
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Translated into Croatian = Prijevod na hrvatski
Slika Petra Boban, Gabrić pradjed mojih unuka
Moj četrdeset deveti (49) mojim unucima.
Pitanje je:
“Tko su bili vaši najbliži prijatelji tijekom godina?”
Dragi moji unuci to je jedno pitanje koje se tiče svake osobe koja se je rodila i živjela na ovoj našoj planeti. Rekao sam “koja se je rodila i živjela na ovoj našoj planeti”, jer je bilo rođenih koji su se rodili a na svu žalost nisu dugo živjeli, jer su poslije rođenja ubrzo umrle, što znači da oni nisu mogli imati “…najbližih prijatelja tijekom godina”. Dakle ja ću pisati o sebi i mojim najbližim prijateljima u mojem životu.
Istini za volju dragi moji unuci ja sam u mojem životu imao mnogo dobrih pa čak i loših prijatelja, a loše bih ovdje radije nazvao kao poznanici a ne kao prijatelji. Hrvatska poslovica kaže: dobar prijatelj te vjernije slijedi nego tvoja sjena koja te slijedi samo dotle dok oko tebe sunce sja. Drugim riječima tko vjeruje u prijateljstvo mora vjerovati i u poštenje. To su božanske iskrice u čovjekovu srcu koje on nosi od dana svog rođenja, a obje su temelji nesebične, stalne i spasonosne ljubavi.
Dragi moji unuci ja sam ima mnogo prijatelja a u ovom opisu ću se osvrnuti samo na dvojicu, jedan je iz mog sela Bobanova Draga Jerko Boban nadimkom Kukić, rođen 1934-1994, drugi je Joe Foster Amerikanac, rođen u Houston-u, u saveznoj državi Texas 1936 -2020. Najprije ću reći nešto o mojem susjedu i prijatelju Jerki Boban, Kukić.
Njegova obitelj i moja obitelj iz njihovih dječjih dana su bili dobri prijatelji i to prijateljstvo se je prenijelo i na njihovu djecu. Iz tog prijateljstva naših roditelja Jerko i ja smo postali prijatelji. On je bio dobar šaljivčina, znao je pjevati gangu vrlo dobro, a i ja sam pjevao vrlo dobro gangu. Ganga je jedna hrvatska tradicionalna stara vrsta pjevanja, posebice u našem hrvatskom kraju Hercegovina. Jerko i ja smo često puta kroz naše selo pjevali gangu. Selo je selo i na selu je život drugačiji nego – recimo – u gradu. Jedne prigode moj prijatelj Jerko je bio u gostionici gdje se je pjevala ganga i uživale razne razonode. Netko je Jerki spomenuo kako to da Milan nije s tobom i taj netko počeo negativno o meni govoriti. Jerko se naljutio i reče toj osobi: Ne govori o mojem prijatelju Milanu jer on nije ovdje da se može braniti. Ja sam njegov prijatelj i zabranjujem ti bilo što reći o njemu bez njega, jer on nije ovdje.
Jerko je otišao u vojsku 1954. Ja sam otišao u Sloveniju raditi 1957. Kada je Jerko došao kući iz vojske i saznao da sam ja u Sloveniji, došao je kod mojih roditelja i zatražio adresu. Moji roditelji su njemu dali moju adresu. Jerko je došao kod mene u Sloveniju. Jerko je počeo raditi s menom u istom poduzeću. Tu smo se zajednički dogovorili da ćemo bježati iz komunističke Jugoslavije na Zapad u demokratske zemlje. Prilažem sliku
iz Mislinja iz Slovenj Gradec gdje sam radio. Pod YU pritiskom ja sam morao bježati u emigraciju. S lijeva: Ivan Boban Glavašušića, zvani Juka, Ante Pejić, zvani lelo, Mile Boban, vaš djed, Jerko Boban zvani Kukić, Ante Kozina, čuče: Frano Boban, Belin, Frano Boban, Coković, živi negdje u Švedskoj.
Ova slika je uzeta, nedjelja 6 rujna 1959. Mi smo napustili Slovenj Gradec i s vlakom putovali do Kopra. U Celju smo mijenjali vlak i tu smo se slikali. Jerko Boban, Kukić i ja smo pobjegli u emigraciju, dok su se drugi vratili svojim kućama.
I pobjegli smo preko Italije i stigli u Nicu, Francuska u četvrtak 10 rujna 1959. Odatle za Pariz gdje smo živjeli zajedno. Jerko se je oženio 12 rujna 1963. Prilažem sliku Jer Kina i Maričina vjenčanja. To je bilo kada smo poslije vjenčanja izašli iz limuzine i pošli prema kući Marka Džape gdje je bio svadbeni pir. S lijeva na desno: Ante Mamić, mladoženja Jerko Boban, mladoženjka Marica Boban i Mile Boban.
Ova slika je za vrijeme svatovskog pira u kući Marka Džape. S lijeva su: Ante Mamić, Marica Boban, Jerko Boban drži svoju desnu ruku preko Maričina ramena, Mile Boban, Nikola Šantić i Ivan Talaja.
Ja sam se oženio 31 srpnja 1965. Prilažem sliku vjenčanja Mile i Annie Boban.
Jerko je iz Pariza otišao za Ameriku u rujnu 1968. u grad Warton, W. Virginia, ja sam otišao iz Pariza za San Francisco u prosincu 1968. Kada je Jerko saznao da sam ja u San Francisku, on je sa svojom obitelji došao u San Francisco u svibnju 1969. On je umro a zakopan je točno na svoj šezdesetih (60) rođendan 1994. To je za mene jedan očiti dokaz najbližeg prijateljstva.
Uz druge moje najbliže prijatelje je bio i moj dobri prijatelj Joe Foster. Prilažem sliku Joe Festera
Desno: Joe Foster i Mile Boban
Njegova supruga Lily je bila prodavateljica kuća. Ja sam bio građevinar i ona ih je prodavala. Preko nje sam upoznao njezina supruga Joe u listopadu 1984. Našli smo zajednički rječnik i tako se je razvilo naše obostrano prijateljstvo. Kroz to naše prijateljstvo Lily Foster je našla kuću za nas u njihovu susjedstvu na adresi 3104 Rivercrest Drive, Austin Texas 78733. Sada smo susjedi, sada živimo na istoj ulici, posjećujemo se često, pričamo jedni drugima priče iz prošlosti, nismo mogli pričati priče iz budućnosti jer kroz budućnost još nismo prošli i budućnost nam nije bila poznata.
Ja sam u Seton Bolnici imao operaciju na slijepo crijevo 6 ožujka 1987. gdje sam ostao 7 dana. Supruga Annie je svaki dan bila uz mene. Djeca su u školi. Joe Foster je napuštao svoj posao i išao uzimati moju djecu iz škole. To je jedno pravo prijateljstvo. Joe je htio to provjeriti. Jednog dana, subota jutro meni je pukla dovodna cijev vode. Ja sam počeo otkopavati kako bih saznao gdje je cijev pukla. Joe je naišao i pitao me šta se je dogodilo. Ja sam mu rekao šta se je desilo. Joe je otišao. Nakon sat dva vremena Jeo je došao pješke kod mene sa krvavim zavezom na ruci. Stenje, jauče i mene pita da li bi ga ja mogao odvesti na hitnu jer se je nožem posjekao po ruci. Iako sam ja bio u velikoj hitnji da zavarim cijev, ostavio sam posao, uzeo moje auto i Joe i ja krenemo za bolnicu. Kada smo došli na autoput 360, Joe se grahotom počeo smijati, skide ručnik sa ruke, pokaza mi ruku sa koje curi crvenilo rajčice (catch up) i sa velikim zadovoljstvom reče:
Dragi Mile ja sam samo htio isprobati koliki si ti moj iskreni prijatelj. Sada si mi dokazao da si mi iskreni prijatelj. Mile ja to cijenim. Sada si mi dokazao da je prijateljstvo najača spona svakog ljudskog požrtvovanja. Hvala ti. Sada okreni auto, idemo kući i zajednički uživajmo ostatak subotnjeg dana.
Dragi moji unuci ovo sam našao shodno da vam iznesem moje životne uspomene mojih dragih prijatelja, Hrvata Jerke Boban, Kukić i Amerikanca Joe Foster.
Vaš vječiti djed “Babu” Milan.
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