A DIVORCE OF CROATIAN MAN IN USA – RAZVOD BRAKA HRVATA U AMERIKI

A Croatian man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was not perfect, they got along very well. One day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him to arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Hrvat se preselio u SAD i oženio američku djevojku. Iako mu engleski nije bio savršen, odlično su se slagali. Jednog dana pojurio je u odvjetnički ured i zamolio ga da dogovori razvod braka za njega. Odvjetnik je rekao da će razvod ovisiti o okolnostima, te mu postavio sljedeća pitanja:

Have you any grounds?

Imate li podlogu za to?

Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.

 Da, imam jutro i pol zemlje i lijepu malu kućicu.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case? 

Ne, mislim što je temelj ovog slučaja?

It is made of concrete. 

Temelj kuće je izrađn od betona.

I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?

Mislim da vi ne razumijete. Da li vi između sebe imate jedan prema drugome pravu ljutnju?

No, we have carport, and not need one. 

Ne, imamo šupu, strehu a nije nam potrebna.

I mean what are your relations like? 

Mislim kakvi su vaši odnosi?

All my relations are still in Croatia. 

Svi su moji odnosi još uvijek u Hrvatskoj.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?

Postoji li nevjernost u vašem braku?

We have a hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player. 

Mi imamo vrlo moderni stereo i dobar DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? 

Je li vas supruga kadkada tuče?

No, I always up before her. 

Ne, ja se uvijek dižem prije nje.

Is your wife a nagger? 

Je li vaša žena brbljava, gunđava?

No, she white. 

Ne, ona je bijelkinja.

Why do you want this divorce?

Zašto želite ovaj razvod?

She’s going to kill me. 

Ubit će me.

What makes you think that? 

Zbog čega to mislite tako?

I got proof. 

Imam za to dokaz.

What kind of proof? 

Kakav dokaz?

She is going to poison me. She bought a bottle at a drugstore and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. I can read English pretty good and it say” “Polish Remover” that can take me out as a Croatian. 

Otrovat će me. Kupila je bocu u apoteki i stavila ju na policu u kupaoni. Ja dobro čitam engleski, a na njemu piše: “Polish Remover”, to se može smatrati “Gubi, Odstrani se Hrvatu.